I find that making the choice to stay at home and be a full time mum can be quite a challenge from a society perspective. I do know people associate housewife as lady of leisure with lots of time in hand for shopping and manicure and gossips. This is only true if you believe the world of Desperate Housewife or if you are married to a millionaire with many maids waiting on you. In reality, being a mother aka home engineer is round the clock job. Your day doesnt start and 8am and finished at 5pm with a SHUT DOWN button. Your day starts when the child needs you and it doesnt finish and there's definitely no SHUT DOWN button.

TIME MANAGEMENT

Yes,time management is crucial being a home engineer. You have to time your housework around the child resting/sleeping time. Also the type of housework must be tailored according to the age of the child. You wouldnt want to be doing ironing which might take 1 hour if you know your child sleeping time is only 45 minutes and he is a running toddler! You'll end up with either burnt clothes or a burnt child!

RESPONSIBILITY

Your responsibility as a home engineer is more than just your normal typical engineer. You must ensure that your child has the right amount sleep/play time/ study/ nutritious food. In additon, staying at home also means that your family expects dinner and housework to be cooked. You will also discover your DIY skills improving drastically because by being at home you will find more things that doesnt work and to callout a service person cost a minimum of $60!

SOCIETY PERCEPTION

I was once an engineer myself and used to make stupid comments about housewife having all the time and yet complaining that they do not have time. I regret and definitely apologise to all housewives out there for my comment. I once also thought that I am way too qualified to be a HOME ENGINEER and it's actually EMBARRASSING to be a housewife. Now that I am one myself, I have to say I ENJOY being one and nothing can replace the feeling of being a mother. There is definitely no embarrassment being one and my brain is definitely more stimulated than a mundane engineering job. You'll need to figure out what to cook (children are all fussy eaters!), how to stimulate the child (they have short attention span), how to manage the house and yet have time for yourself. You will find that a housewife usually has very good time management skills and organisational skills. These are the same skills you acquire at work.

I am happy to start up a network for corporate women out there who gave it all up to be a mother! I believe that being a mother is so fulfilling and seeing your little one progress day by day is such a wonderful experience that no social status could replace that. I will not accept the post of a CEO if that means I will see less of my child.

Books

Reading up on parenting issues will help dispel any fears and help with making sound decision and not based on what our mother/mother in law did. Whilst I am not disputing that they might be more experienced but I do think that time has changed and every child is different. I dont think what works for one will necessarily work for another. Being a first time mum myself, I find that reading more about motherhood and knowing the psychology of a child wants/needs is more fundamental. A lot of people recommended Gina Ford book but I have not read that. There are many books out there offering ideas/tips/advice on motherhood, bring up a child, dealing with behaviour problem and I would definitely say give each book a try. There is no book that is specifically tailored for our child.

While on this topic of reading, I find that Dr Miriam Stoppard books are good. She is precise and do not beat around the bush. I used her Pregnancy guide throughout my pregnancy which really helps me understand more about myself and my growing child.

While on this topic of reading, I find that Dr Miriam Stoppard books are good. She is precise and do not beat around the bush. I used her Pregnancy guide throughout my pregnancy which really helps me understand more about myself and my growing child.

Another type of books worth reading is learning about the behaviour of a child. Sometime I find that my child is frustrated because he cant seem to convey what he wants/needs which might lead to tantrum in him and anger in the caregiver. I find that if I spend time observing him and his antics and also if you take enough notice, their baby language actually means sometime, it is less stressful! Like now, without looking at him, if he makes certain sound, I actually know that he's stuck or he has done a poo! Repetitive words with actions also help! :)

Pregnancy and Child Birth

On the topic of Pregnancy and Child Birth, I would like to share my experience. I had to deliver via C-section due to my size and also doc's advice (again due to my size). Recently my best friend took a course in pre-natal yoga which talks about breathing techniques and the power of the mind for childbirth. Apparently, all of our bodies are designed for natural birth but modern technology has simplied (?) matters. To be honest, I wished she would have taken the course before my delivery and given me the couching to give natural birth a try instead of succumbing to everyone's comment on my size. I would seriously encourage all mothers to be to read up more about the options in natural birth and maybe give yoga a try.